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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22986817">The aftertaste of an Outburst</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/peanutbutterbagels/pseuds/peanutbutterbagels'>peanutbutterbagels</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Adventure Zone (Podcast)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Backstory, Child Neglect, Childhood Memories, Comfort, Embarrassment, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Constipation, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Familial Love, Fantasy McDonalds, Found Family, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Other, Parent-Child Relationship, im so sorry for making this, implied taakitz - Freeform, lots of emotions, plz be nice I’m not the best at this, talking through emotions, the boys get maccas</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 06:53:11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>13,723</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22986817</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/peanutbutterbagels/pseuds/peanutbutterbagels</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Angus really wanted to cry right now.</p><p>But that would be so rude! Forcing his idols to take care of a crying little boy was not a very professional thing to do.</p><p>And even though his skin felt like electricity, like static, and his heart was pounding so, so hard, he just smiled and played along.</p><p>It wouldn’t be long and then he could be alone again, quiet and calm and he definitely would not cry.</p><p>Until then, he would just have to grin and bear it.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Angus McDonald &amp; Taako, Magnus Burnsides &amp; Angus McDonald, Magnus Burnsides &amp; Merle Highchurch &amp; Taako, Merle Highchurch &amp; Angus McDonald</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>39</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>118</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Omg plz don’t be mean to me in the comments it makes me sad :(</p><p>i appreciate CONSTRUCTIVE criticism, and i always love comments!</p><p>please point out things that don’t make sense, spelling/grammar errors, etc, I literally just used grammarly bc I was too scared to ask anyone to beta it.</p><p>Updates will be slow, school is kinda hectic. Perhaps once a week?</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><br/>
Taako was in the library. Really, it wasn’t as weird as it sounded. All he wanted to do was find someone to cast pocket pudding on, really, it’s no big deal at all. In fact, Magnus and Merle also shared the same interest.</p><p>So there they were, sneaking around behind fully stocked shelves of books old and new, which really wasn’t quite sneaky at all, looking for an unsuspecting victim to fill their pockets with pudding. </p><p>Their plan- wasn’t exactly working. Magnus had already knocked over two shelves, and was lucky enough to catch them before they hit the ground (and thanks to a special charm, all the books stayed in their positions on the shelves), Merle has almost been crushed by two falling shelves, and luckily hadn’t been crushed by the books that had almost straight up poured out of it, and Taako and already failed both his stealth and his bluff rolls. </p><p>So, practically every single person knew of the three men stalking the library, and knew exactly when they should leave. Except for one little boy.</p><p>Angus McDonald, boy detective, loved coming to the library. He went there every chance he got, reading book after book even if he wasn’t rather fond of the subject matter. At home, he’d never had so many books within reach, and the library in Eversummer had very little to offer. </p><p>Being a child, the only child in the Bureau, Angus got a lot more breaks than most employees. Lucretia insisted that he be given a thirty-minute break every two hours, and an hours break for every meal. </p><p>While Angus felt a little patronised by the regulated care, he understood where the Director was coming from when she had someone make sure that he ate three meals a day, healthy meals too, and got the appropriate amount of rest and sleep for a growing boy. He was still a little boy, most adults were inclined to care for children they grow fond of, and he was also a very forgetful little detective when it came to self-care.</p><p>So there Angus sat, curled up in the part of the library where the shelves made a little cave in the corner, and where the lights didn’t work no matter how many times you flipped the switch. He had a book propped up on a pile of cushions, a notepad in his hand and a pencil radiating light, letting him see both his book and his writing. (Taako felt a sliver of pride swing the boy use Light like that. After all, he was his magic teacher.)</p><p>He had little Bureau of Balance brand earbuds, hooked into his stone, playing music so loud that Magnus could hear it clearly from where he was hiding behind the shelves.</p><p>The little boy was so engrossed in his work that he failed to see (and hear [and smell, in Magnus’ case]) the three men attempting to sneak up on him, despite how loud and blatantly obvious they were.</p><p>At the moment, Angus was four chapters deep in a mystery novel called ‘Morrigan and the Wolves of Smoke’. He had picked it from the bargain bin at his favourite little bookshop in Eversummer. He had fond memories of choosing books and sitting in the big fancy chairs with his grandfather, as he read aloud quietly, letting the smell of aged books and rain wash over the two of them. </p><p>However, now that his grandfather was gone, Angus felt a horrible sadness wash over him whenever he saw that red love seat, adorned with patches with clashing materials and stitches both sloppy and neat. He tended to avoid Eversummer now, but in private, Angus loved the bookshop, and he knew his Grandpa did too. </p><p>His notepad was filled with detailed notes, summaries of characters, etc. He desperately wanted to solve the mystery before the author made it blatantly obvious, though it seemed that it had been that way from the first page. The back of his notebook was a different story. No detailed notes in neat script, but rather a collection of drawings, some of him, his friends, and some of the fictional characters he read about, or even things he made up! Angus had to admit, he was getting pretty good! He had just learnt how to draw hands, thanks to the educational books in the craft section. </p><p>All was good, and all was well until a coffee-coloured face poked itself between him and his book. </p><p>“Hey, Ango!” Taako’s voice echoed through the empty library, far too loud, and a semi grim splattered across his upside-down face. </p><p>“O-oh! Hello sir!” Angus greeted his mentor cheerily, in the same manner as always, snapping his notepad shut and hiding his drawings. “What are you doing the library? I thought you said books were nerd territory?”</p><p>“Duh-doy, little man,” Taako shrugged off the question, ignoring the snickers coming from behind the shelves, from the men who knew full well about his large collection of stolen books under his bunk. “Nerds read books for fun, of course, a library would be full of the little bugs.” Taako plucked Angus’ novel from his hands flipping through pages before tossing it behind him and hardly suppressing a smile at the boy’s whimper as it hit the ground at an odd angle.</p><p>“Then what are you doing here, sir?” Angus repeated himself. </p><p>“I’m here to teach you a lesson, little dude, and it’s my day off so hop to it.” Taako finally moved out of Angus’ way, giving the boy room to stand from his pile of borrowed library pillows and scamper up in front of Taako, slipping his notebook somewhere amongst the cushions as he did so.</p><p>“Today’s lesson is gonna be all ‘bout my favourite spell.” Taako began, clapping his hands together and talking as loud as he pleased, much to Angus’ dismay. </p><p>“Magic Missile?” Angus asked, bouncing on his heels and failing to hide a large smile splitting his face.</p><p>“Nope.” Taako flicked Angus’ nose with a laugh. “Today you’ll be learning a spell called,” Taako trailed off, staring blankly at the shelves hiding the pair of adventurers. His eyes snapped back into focus, “Called ‘Merlfoxeplents’. It’s an elven name, wouldn’t expect you to know of it.” Someone shouted a rather loud ‘Hey!’ from the shelves again, and revived a very loud ‘Sh!’. Angus looked Taako straight in the eye, which the elf put an end to quickly. That was a very strange name for a spell. Taako pulled Angus towards the back wall with a hand behind his back, and not so discreetly sent a middle finger at the shelf of books.</p><p>“What’re you do-“ A finger pressed sharply against Angus’ lips.</p><p>“Shush, boy detective, pay attention. I can’t spend my whole day-off teaching snot-nosed moon children, now can I?” Taako tutted, swatting the little paperboy hat with the tip of his own wand.</p><p>“I’m the only child on the moon, sir.” </p><p>“That depends if you count Magnus.” Taako poked Angus’ cheek before clapping his hands next to his ear. “Now, to start, this spell is both a concentration spell and a verbal spell okay?” Angus nodded, keeping his eyes trained on Taako’s form as he paced in front of him.</p><p>“You’ll feel it in your hands first, most people do, and then you’ve got to force it out through your wand, okay?” Angus kept on nodding, widening his stance and holding his wand out in front of him, arms straight and back flat. “Can you feel it D’jango?”</p><p>“Yes, sir.” Angus said softly, focusing hard on feeling something, anything, to know he was doing this right. </p><p>His little face scrunched up in concentration, eyes closed and nostrils flared. Taako giggles to himself and a chorus of giggles erupted from the same bookshelf.</p><p>Angus broke his concentration, looking over to the shelves again, tugging on Taako’s long shirt. “Sir, I think there are prying eyes-“</p><p>“Hush, boy.” Taako waved off Angus’s worried frown, sending a death glare to the shelves when he though Angus wasn’t looking. </p><p>“Sir what are you doi-“</p><p>“Hush, Angus! Jeez kid, how many times do I gotta tell you!” Taako grabbed Angus’ face in a tight hold and roughly pulled him to face him. And fuck, the shiny-eyed look Angus gave him made him feel a little less than satisfied about his little- outburst.</p><p>“Sorry, sir.” Angus said eventually, mumbling into his little vest, staring at the floor with crimson cheeks and watery eyes. “I’ll be quieter, I promise.”</p><p>Taako sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose and crouching in front of the kid. “Look, Ango, cool it, okay? You’re fine, chill the fuck out. Just vibe. Good vibes, okay?” Angus nodded, wiping his glasses dry after the few tears had splashed down on them. Taako put a hand on his shoulder, in his little way of showing affection. </p><p>Angus sniffled and sighed shakily, leaning into Taako’s warm touch. “It’s okay sir, it’s just that you sounded a lot like my fa-“ </p><p>“Woah, kiddo, slow the fuck down, this is a magic lesson, not a fantasy therapy session.” Taako cupped his whole hand over Angus’ mouth, giving him a look that conveyed far too much emotion for a standard Taako glare. “Let’s just get on with the magic, okay?” Taako’s eyes went out of focus again, discreetly wiping the smallest tear that threatened to fall from Angus’ eye, being far more gentle than he’d ever been with the kid. Before too long he snatched his hand back, wiping it on his shirt and blinking the moment away.</p><p>Angus took a deep breath, steadied himself, closed his eyes, and began. His little nose crinkled and his whole face scrunched up once more, which made Taako giggle like some (ugh) parent. (Gods above know that he’d never admit that this was the cutest thing he’d ever seen before.)</p><p>“Good job Agnes, you’re doing so well, keep going, just a little further!” Taako let an amused lilt carry his voice, watching the way Angus’ body tensed and how his tongue stuck out from between his teeth as he concentrated. “Just a little further, Ango.” </p><p>Angus could hear the blood rushing through his ears, the heat pumping through his body, so focused on this one enchantment. </p><p>“Okay Ango, now you gotta say it out loud to successfully cast it. Remember what to say?”</p><p>“Merlfoxeplants.” Angus mumbled under his breath, chanting it religiously. Taako tutted, poking Angus’ forearm. </p><p>“No, no, no, Ango, you’ve gotta shout it! You’ve gotta say it loud enough for the Gods to hear you.” </p><p>“Sir, this is a library, you can’t yell!” Angus said, not opening his eyes or even attempting to drag his attention away from this spell. </p><p>“Just say it then, Angus, maybe if you nerd hard enough it’ll work.” Taako laughed, ruffling Angus’ mop of curls rough and hard.</p><p>Angus huffed but did all the same. He still had some respect for his mentor. He took a deep breath, scrunched his face up once more, and spoke. “MerlfoXPLANTS!” His voice reaches a very high volume, especially for a library, when something attacked his waist, two hands squeezing tight on his sides. </p><p>He snapped his eyes open and looked to Taako, standing above him with a smile behind his long fingers. His face scrunched into something mad and red and angry and he swiftly turned, finding one tall fighter standing before him, and one dwarf, who was still the slightest bit taller. His expression fell into something more remorseful. “Oh- sirs, it’s just you. You gave me- you gave me a real big fright!”</p><p>“I know!” Magnus laughed, hearty and loud, which made Angus very unsettled. The library was his favourite place, he really didn’t want to get banned like Pringles did. </p><p>Angus was very on edge right now. Everything was starting to feel a bit too loud, and his skin felt like it was made of electricity, zappy and buzzing. “What are you doing in the library, sirs?”</p><p>“We’re looking for people to scare, you little booger.” Merle grumbled, rolling his eyes and getting a flick to the forehead from Magnus.</p><p>“Well, you certainly got me!” Angus tried to chuckle, clutching his shaking hands to his chest and hiding his quivering lip behind a shaky smile. “So was it you behind the shelves this whole time?”</p><p>“Yup!” Magnus grinned, laughing down at Angus. “And now, we’re going to steal all your cushions so we can build a cubby house in my bedroom!”</p><p>“You mean, ‘You’ are going to. I’m not taking part in this after last time.” Merle grumbled but didn’t really move to leave or anything of the sort. </p><p>Angus looked quizzically at the dwarf. “What happened last time, sir?” Merle grumbled and Taako refused to make eye contact, so Angus looked up to Magnus. </p><p>“One of our blanket rooms fell down and Merle got trapped and we decided not to help him.” Magnus stage whispered, putting a hand over the side of his face comically, and Angus couldn’t help but giggle, even though he much rather felt like crying. </p><p>“Don’t laugh, you little twerp, I almost died.” Merle waved a finger in Angus’ face accusingly, to which he got a slap on the head from Magnus (much like dribbling a basketball).</p><p>“Get your sausage fingers out of his face, old man, and start picking up cushions for the fort.” Taako pushed past Angus, dismissively patting his shoulder as he passed. </p><p>Angus stood in the same spot, contemplating his next movements. He really wanted to go to his dorm now. He really, really, wanted to cry right now. But that would be so rude to the men in front of him, and he really didn’t want to pressure them into caring for a crying child. ‘Just deep breaths, deep breaths until you’re back in your room again.’</p><p>“Darn, Mango, what’s this little number?” That snapped Angus out of his haze, looking up to see Mr Taako holding up his journal with two fingers like it was covered in ‘cooties’. ‘How juvenile’, Angus would have thought, but all he could think at this moment was the book he was holding. His journal. His drawing journal. Fuck. They must have found it under the pile of cushions as they were stealing them away. Great!</p><p>“I’ll take that, sir, it’s instrumental to my work at the Bureau!” Angus scampered over to Taako, arms reaching out to take back his journal so he could please, finally, leave.</p><p>Just as his fingers grazed the cover, however, Taako flipped it up into the air, out of Angus’ reach and right into Magnus’ arms. </p><p>Angus scurried over to Magnus, trying to climb over his beefy arms to get to his book. “Uh-uh, Ango, S’not how the game works.” Magnus tutted, grinning madly. He held the book over his head, laughing up a storm and Angus tried to scale his body. A quick push in Angus’ head put an end to that, pushing his feet back on the floor and putting him another good two feet shorter then Magnus. </p><p>He was left no choice but to try and wiggle and escape, no jumping with Magnus’ giant hand on his head. “Please, sir, give it back. This is really mean!” Angus cried desperately, trying to shake off Magnus’ heavy hand. </p><p> </p><p>“C’mon Angus, have some fun. Just chillax.” Taako last cool-tone came from behind him, and Angus swelled to look at him once Magnus and taken back his freakishly large hand. </p><p>“I don’t want to chillax, Mr Taako!” Angus whined, watching his book get tossed between Merle and Magnus over his head. Angus rushed over to Merle, trying to grab the book while he still had it before it was tossed to Taako, then Magnus, then Merle and back to Magnus, way far out of reach. Magnus and Taako were very tall people, and also had very long arms, and while Merle was a dwarf, he was still taller than Angus at five feet.</p><p>“What’s in here is so important that you can’t just relax and play a little? Aren’t you a kid? Aren’t you supposed to be running through cornfields or some shit?” Taako smirked at Angus as he caught the journal, holding it over his head for a moment before flipping through it quickly. </p><p>“Sir! That’s my personal property! Give it back right now or I’ll report you!” Angus tried and failed, to use a more demanding tone, trying to squash the feeling of crying into a little speck. He stomped his foot heavy against the carpet, only making a dull thud of a sound.</p><p>Taako scoffed, reading a page of his notes half-heartedly. “Report us to who, Brad fucking Bradson? What’s he gonna do, give us a verbal warning?” Taako shoved his other hand right on Angus’ face, pushing against him an keeping him in place as he tried to run at him.</p><p>“Ugh! Sir! It’s not funny anymore! Give it back!” Angus stopped caring about his library-appropriate-volume and started caring far more about the wetness of his voice. They could definitely tell he was going to cry and soon. This was not going well at all. </p><p>Noticing the change in boy’s speaking, Merle chuckled. “Aww, are you gonna cry? Piss your pants, maybe? Maybe-“</p><p>“Merle don’t! That’s gross. He’s still a kid.” Magnus flicked Merle once again, Angus really didn’t know how his head wasn’t permanently bruised. Angus gave up in charge at Taako, turning around the chastise Magnus and Merle, when he was interrupted as soon as he opened his mouth. </p><p>“Oh my, Ango what is this?” Taako asked with an amused lilt to his voice, holding open his journal with a toothy grin.</p><p>The page being displayed to the room was not a page of careful notes, or detailed slanted writing, but rather a drawing.</p><p>A drawing of three men, and one little boy, more specifically, a little detective holding hands with three men who looked suspiciously like the Tres Horny Bois. </p><p>No, no, no, no, no! Fuck!</p><p>Merle burst out in a loud bubble of laughter, and Magnus awwed and snickered as Taako flipped through various drawings of the Boys. </p><p>“Sir.” Angus began, his voice low and a mockery of steady comfort. His throat wasn’t wet, and his eyes stung. He wanted out of now. “Give me my book, please.” </p><p>“Sorry, kiddo, rules of the game. Finders keepers, loser McWeepers!” Taako laughed, flipping through yet more pages.</p><p>Angus knew that in this moment, Taako was distracted. He let his guard down, laughing loudly with his head thrown back. This was his time to take advantage. And so he did.</p><p>Angus stormed forward, jumping up to grab the journal from Taako’s hold, far above his head. He rolled high, Managing to grab onto his journal, but instantly falling to the ground with a loud tearing sound. Oh no.</p><p>In his hands was half of his journal, and the other half was in Taako’s. His face was pale, eyes wide and mouth parted. His arm fell to his side and his hand flew to his mouth. “Angus, I am so sorry, I-“</p><p>“Fuck off!” Angus screamed, his lip quivering in anger and his eyes practically red. </p><p>“Buddy, calm down, we can fix it easy peasy!” Magnus put a hand on his shoulder with heavy pressure, squeezing gently and trying to calm him down. </p><p>“No! We can’t, because M-Merle’s a sh-sh-shh-hit healer, and my book is ruined!” Angus screamed again, and the dam broke. Hot tears gushed down his cheeks, blurring his vision and making his voice go thick and hicuppy. </p><p>“C’mon now, I’m not that bad! Just let me try, huh? I can at least put it back in one piece.” Merle took the first half from a frozen Taako and held his hand out for the other. </p><p>Angus snatched the half book in Merle’s hand and held it to his chest, alongside the other. “No! I don’t want your help! Fuck off!” Angus choked on his own sobs, standing and heading back to his pile of belongings.</p><p>“Ango, Bub, wait-“ Taako started, finally moving, finally talking, his skin just as pale as before but his cheeks flushed darkly.</p><p>“No! You’ve been so mean to me ever since I met you, and I try so hard to make sure that you’ll be safe on your reclaimer missions and I do as much research as I can before handing in my reports so that you don’t go somewhere that isn’t going to kill you! And-and I keep all your secrets and do whatever you ask as soon as possible, even-even weird ss-s-shit like cleaning the couch and checking all the cookie jars for hidden snakes! You always take my stuff and break it and call me names and I never do anything! I- I-“ Angus paused, looking at the men before him, all guilty faces and gaping mouths.</p><p>“I hate you!” Angus shouts, scooping the rest of his stationary into his arms, and pushing past a shell-shocked Magnus, and stomping right out of the empty library, leaving Taako, Magnus, and Merle alone in a silent room.</p><p>A long stretch of silence passed, the room filled only with shared guilty glances. </p><p>“Well boys,” Magnus started, patting the others on the back, and hard. “We done fucked up.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>All our boys are a little sad but some are worse at showing it than others.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Warning for what I think is a panic attack in the first half of this chapter and then a fight in the second half.</p><p>Sorry if the panic attack is unrealistic, I based it off when my dad came back the first time and I forgot a lot of that day.</p><p>Please leave kudos and comment and please tell me if there’s any typos!! I always try to edit it but y’know ponody’s nerfect</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">Angus walked up to his room as quick and cool as he could manage. He could feel his skin simmering and hear his heartbeat in this throat. His face was still wet, despite the now lack of falling tears. He wiped his cheeks vigorously and scratched off any remaining dampness.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">His shoes clicked on the tiles and the sound echoed through the empty corridor. His feet stirred up dust as he walked and settled seemingly in his throat. Why he had taken the deserted corridors was in his opinion, a valid excuse, but the sheer amount of both dust and filth was beginning to discount said decision. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">Steering the second corner,Angus cleared his throat and ended up leaning against the wall as he hacked into his hand. His eyes stung once again from the scraping pain in his throat, and he caught a few tears dribbling down his cheeks.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">After a short moment, he was able to get his breathing under check and he cleaned his face. He scurried down the corridor and found himself standing in front of the elevator. He pressed the ‘Up’ button as if his finger was a jackhammer, and tapped his foot impatiently as the light slowly fell to the number indicating his floor. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">He could hear footsteps from down the hall, the click-clacking of heels growing closer and louder. The elevator took its time reaching his floor, and the doors opened up just as slow. He stood, nose pressed against the door until it opened wide enough for him to slip through, just as the next cluster of people rounded the corner. He didn’t catch much of their appearance, but the flash of a purple cloak and the tip of an umbrella was enough to have his heart back in his throat again. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">He stepped in as quick as he could, pounding the ‘Shut Door’ button as fast and hard as he could. He could hear them getting closer, could hear their voices now, awkward and loud. He pressed himself against the wall of the elevator, hoping to stay out of sight as they walked by. The elevator door shut just as they walked past.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">The elevator to his level took a while, and so he slumped against the wall and slid to the floor with a huff of air. He leant against the cool metal wall and tried to catch his breath, feeling his heart pump wildly in his chest. His eyes were stinging again, hot and heavy in his sockets. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">He could feel himself begin to crumble, his walls crashing down much faster than he intended. He fisted a hand in his shirt and bit down hard on his lip, all while blinking rapidly to keep the new wave of tears under control. He kept his eyes trained on the level number, rocking back and forth as he watched the number grow higher and higher. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">His hand tapped on his thigh repetitively as he stood and readied himself to go out into the corridor. He was lucky his room was so close to the elevator, but despite how empty his floor was, there was always the off chance that someone was strolling the halls. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">He tucked his shirt back into his pants, pulled out from when he sat down and from his insistent fiddling with the hem. He wiped his eyes dry, even though they blurred up again almost instantly. He had to clean off his glasses and he slipped them back on just as the door opened again.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">Angus was lucky enough that no one was wandering about on his floor, and was able to make it to his door without being spotted. He swiped his card to unlock the door and slipped in quietly. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">As soon as the door shut, Angus wailed. He pushed his glasses up onto his head and pressed his face into his hands, sobbing. He slumped to the floor and pulled his knees up to his chest, effectively turning himself into a ball. He rocked himself back and forth,his back hitting the door every time.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">His breath caught in his throat as his face grew wetter and wetter. He tried and failed, to scrub his face dry, which only spread the wetness more. His breaths grew shallow as he clawed at his throat, and his chest began to constrict as if a python were around his ribs. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">He sat there for what felt like an eternity, forcing air down his scratchy throat and sniffling quietly. He pulled his hands away from his face and hooked them around his legs instead while smushing his cheeks into his knees. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">He cast his eyes around the room, blinded by tears and also- his shitty vision? He could tell that it was dark outside, even through the blur. Shadows stretched across the room and died out in the light shining under the door. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">Angus took a deep breath in, and as shaky as it was, it helped ground him. He took a few more deep breaths before attempting to stand up. He clutched the door handle in a white-knuckled grip and pulled himself to his feet. He trod on a pen when he began to move, and noticed the stationary spilled across the floor, dropped in his fit of tears. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">His eyes caught in the journal, lying pathetically on the deep blue carpet in two pieces. Pages were already starting to slide out, and a few lay crumpled underneath his feet. He picked up the journal as he passed, leaving the pens, and trailed back to his room.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">He tossed the two halves of his book into his paper bin ferociously, the bin spinning wildly on its base before settling again. Angus didn’t want to look at it anymore. He’d burn it as soon as Taako taught him a fire spell.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3"><span class="s2">But — maybe Taako wouldn’t want to teach him anymore. He’d said some mean things. He said he </span> <em><span class="s3">hated </span></em> <span class="s2">Taako. Taako wasn’t the type to reconcile, much less continue interaction with someone who berated him so (he knew from countless days of studying the elf and his peculiar mannerisms). </span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3"><span class="s2">Taako was his favourite part of his new job! He loved learning, he loved </span> <span class="s3"><em>magic</em>.</span> <span class="s2"> All the other wizards on the moon wouldn’t want to teach Angus, much less for free, and even if he </span> <em><span class="s3">did</span></em> <span class="s2"> ask the Director, she would be far too busy to bother with his questions and queries.</span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3"><span class="s2">Angus </span> <em><span class="s3">loved </span></em> <span class="s2">Taako. Even though he was so cagey and more sarcastic than serious, Angus couldn’t help but idolise him. Hell, Taako even pushed him off a godsdamned </span> <em><span class="s3">train </span></em> <span class="s2">and his respect for the elf had hardly wavered.</span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3"><span class="s2">And now— now Taako </span> <em><span class="s3">hated </span></em> <span class="s2">him. He would probably find a way to get Angus fired, maybe even throw him off the moon!</span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3"><em><span class="s3">Oh gods, </span></em> <span class="s2">he thought, </span> <em><span class="s3">I don’t wanna leave the moon! </span></em></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">Angus sat on the bed with a huff. He kicked off his shoes, and for once he didn’t mind when they bounced off the near wall and clattered to the floor. He flopped back onto the bed, staring up at the ceiling and hiking his legs up onto the bed with him. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">His glasses were a bit dirty now, and very wet, but he just pushed them off his face and paid them no mind. His face was still red hot, simmering beneath the surface, and his eyes were beginning to sting. His nose was leaking profusely and has managed to spread its snot over a lot of his face, and Angus wiped it off shamefully.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">He sighed loudly and shakily, breaking the thick silence that hung in his room. He felt really gross. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">His eyes were puffy and they felt like they were the size of golf balls. They started to hurt after Angus’ persistent scrubbing of tears. His nose was blocked, so he had to breathe through his mouth, and his lips were already starting to dry painfully. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">His shirt was rumpled now, and he’d probably have to find someone to help him iron it (Lucretia had taken the ironing set from his dorm for fear of him hurting himself).</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">Angus was really mad at himself. He totally fucked up almost every important relationship in his work life, not to mention his private life. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">Carey and Killian were his friends, but they had to work so much more often than the boys usually did (seeing as the boys really only had an official job every few months), and Johann said himself that he has ‘limited time for little boys’ and wanted to spend all of that time teaching him how to play the violin! </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">Avi was really cool, but his job was super important and he couldn’t get distracted, and even on his breaks he was always busy helping other people, how was he going to fit Angus in his schedule?</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">The answer? He probably couldn’t. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">Angus was going to be lonely for the rest of his little boy life.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">Angus groaned at the thought, and he curled up once more, the feeling of anxiety beginning to tug at his insides.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">The insides of his body felt entirely made of metal, cold and hard, and he could feel waves of anxiety radiating from his tummy, bouncing around his metal insides. His hands thrummed with the anxious sensation.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">He chewed on the side of his tongue, longing for some grounding sensation that wouldn’t come to him. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">If he couldn’t ground himself, maybe he could distract himself?</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">Angus moved to grab his storybook, seated on the bedside as always. He wouldn’t be able to document clues anymore, not without his lovely little notebook with the gold leaf detailing and the wonderfully sculpted spine and his name printed on the cover in swirling gold letters — and he was crying again. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <em> Gods.</em>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">He wanted to be distracted, just so he could forget about everything for a second. He’s tired of feeling sad. It’s all he seemed to be able to feel at the moment.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">But when he reached for his novel— it wasn’t there. It wasn’t in its special spot, where there’s a vacancy for dust to settle.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">He left it in the library, he realises. He left it in the <em>library</em> with the <em>Tres Horny Bois. </em></span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3"><em><span class="s3">Fuck me</span></em> <span class="s2">, Angus thinks (profanity is not something he’s sworn off).</span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3"><span class="s2">It’s enough to make him whine, like a child, loud and petulant (</span> <span class="s3"><em>You are a child</em>, </span> <span class="s2">he reminds himself. Some little voice in his brain shouts <em>‘I</em></span><em><span class="s3">t’s okay for you to be upset! You’re a little boy still!’</span></em> <span class="s2">. He smothers it).</span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">He doesn’t want to say he threw a tantrum, or at least he doesn’t want to admit it.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">He kicked his heels into the bed in a fit of rage and muffled a shriek behind closed lips before he burst out into tears again. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3"><span class="s2">He loved it here, but </span> <em><span class="s3">gods he hated it sometimes!</span></em></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">It was so hard to act like a grown-up when you’re Eleven. He’s been doing it since he was nine, but that didn’t make it any easier! </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">Angus knew that at his age he definitely should not be throwing tantrums, or crying about a torn up journal, but maybe he could blame it on hormonal changes? Do boys even go through hormonal changes? Is he a normal boy? Maybe he’s just a late bloomer and hasn’t learned to not behave like a small child.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">Angus found all his thoughts rattling his brain, buzzing around like angered bees.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">His whole body was conducting waves of anxious energy. His hands trembled under the pressure, his lips too, and his teeth began to chatter so loud that they half-drowned out the horrible thoughts in his skull.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">The anxious energy always brought a wave of sickness, and sure enough, a puddle of unease settled at the bottom of his tummy, gushing and splashing wildly every time he shifted. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">Angus decided to go to bed. He didn’t know exactly what time it was, but right now he doesn’t care. The sun has gone to bed and so will he. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3"><span class="s2">He took his time getting under the covers, moving slowly to not jostle his delicate tummy too much. He felt weird being in bed while wearing these fancy clothes, but he couldn’t bring himself to move any further. He slipped his glasses </span> <span class="s3">somewhere </span> <span class="s2">(he’s pretty sure they fell to the floor) and tugged the thick blankets up to his chin.</span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">His hands were still quivering and his feet were kicking and tapping as if they had a mind of their own. Angus had managed to cease the chattering his teeth were doing by chewing on his lip instead.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3"><span class="s2">His tummy was restless, like an angry sea, crashing against the walls of his stomach. He felt </span> <span class="s3">sick</span> <span class="s2">. His whole body was trembling now, anxiety pumping through his veins and ringing painfully in his hands and feet.</span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3"><span class="s2">He tried to think about nice things, like the bookshop at Neverwinter, his Grandpa’s chair, the Reclaimers next mission — and then he’s there again, brought to tears at the thought of his friends, his </span> <span class="s3">old </span> <span class="s2">friends now.</span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">He already felt lonely, already panicking over being alone until he’s summoned, or being forced to sit with the reclaimers, for work and lunch. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3"><span class="s2">Now the reclaimers are going to actually hate him, their jokes will actually be mean, they’ll be </span> <span class="s3">meant </span> <span class="s2">to sting. Why couldn’t he have just put up with those silly jokes when they meant </span> <span class="s3">nothing? </span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">Angus falls asleep what feels like hours later.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><hr/><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">Magnus’s knife knicked his thumb as he carved at an odd angle. He swore, squeezing the deep cut as he searched for a bandage. He hurried into the kitchen to run his gash under the tap.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">It didn’t hurt much anymore. The first time he’d cut himself whittling he’d cried for gods know how long.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">He found Taako sitting at the counter, pouring over some book he’d stolen down in Neverwinter. He was flipping pages, but his eyes were distant and still. His lips were cracked from biting at them, and a canine must have nicked his lip because there was a small split as well.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">He didn’t look up as Magnus passed, and didn’t catch Magnus staring. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">Or — maybe he did, judging by his response to Magnus’ silence. “Take a picture it’ll last longer.” He snapped, ears flicking down in the slightest. Magnus didn’t know exactly what that meant, but he could make an assumption.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">He felt guilty. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">They all did, after what had happened in the library.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3"><span class="s2">Magnus had seen Merle waddle off to do whatever he did and found him later participating in his regular activities, chatting up </span> <span class="s3">plants </span> <span class="s2">as if nothing had happened.</span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">Taako had stormed off to his room with huge strides of his long legs. Magnus hadn’t seen him since, until now. He hadn’t even heard him make his way to the kitchen.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">“Er— what. What’re you doin’ in here, bud?” Magnus stuck his thumb under the faucet pouring cool water. His head was turned to face Taako, who hadn’t bothered to look up from his book. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">Taako made a noncommittal sound before closing the book and tossing it to the other end of the counter. “Makin’ dinner.” Taako drawled.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">Magnus turned back to his thumb and shrugged. I mean- dinner is good, right? “Hold on— since when have you cooked? I thought you didn’t do that anymore?” Upon further inspection, the cut was pretty shallow, just very bloody and really painful.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3"><span class="s2">Taako huffed. “My <em>shit</em> isn’t </span> <em><span class="s3">any </span></em> <span class="s2">of </span> <em><span class="s3">your </span></em> <span class="s2">business.” His tone was sharp and cold, and Magnus felt his eyes digging icy holes in the back of his tee. Magnus turned back to face Taako and was met with the elf standing right in front of him menacingly. Their noses were mere centimetres apart, and Taako sneered.</span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3"><span class="s2">“Look — </span> <em><span class="s3">Taako</span></em> <span class="s2">.” Magnus shut off the tap and wrapped his thumb tightly in the hem of his shirt. “I was only asking. I know how hard it is for you to cook.” He put his hand on Taako’s shoulder and rubbed the exposed skin, trying to be comforting. It didn’t work.</span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">Taako snatched his arm away from Magnus, backing into the kitchen counter. “You don’t know fucking shit, Magnus!”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3"><span class="s2">Magnus wanted to reach out and comfort Taako, but he knew that wouldn’t work for him. “Hey, hey, hey, Taako, calm down, </span> <span class="s3"><em>please-</em>“</span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3"><span class="s3">“</span> <span class="s2">Piss. Off.” Taako’s pupils thinned until they were proper slits. His teeth were bared and his canines seemed to shimmer in the yellow glow of the kitchenette. His voice was gravelly and low, a sharp contrast to his usual airy cadence. </span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">“Why are you being like this? I tried to <em>help</em> you!” Magnus’ voice raised in pitch while Taako’s seemed to lower. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">Taako bristled once more, his shoulders tightened up and his teeth seemed more and more prominent. “I. Don’t. Need. Your fucking help!” He shouted.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">Magnus’ eyes widened in fear. Taako was almost shaking with rage. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">“<em>Please</em>, Taako, I wasn’t trying anything I—“ Magnus backed up as far as the kitchen would let him, his back flush to the pantry door and counter. He saw Merle rear his head from the hallway. His eyes flitted between Merle and Taako anxiously.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">Taako groaned, loudly and sarcastically, putting on a show of anger for the others to watch. “You. Magnus Burnsides. The fucking ‘Saviour of all Innocent’ or what-the-fuck-ever, <em>isn’t</em> trying to help me?” Taako paused with a dangerously sharp glare. “Seems pretty out of the fuckin’ ordinary. Get a fucking <em>life</em>, you invasive bugbear of a man.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">Merle had made his way over now, standing at Magnus’ side, backed up as if he knew Taako was about to blow.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">“Why are you being such an asshole, Taako?” Magnus yelled as the words ripped from his throat, overpowering Taako’s shouting. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">Taako’s ears flicked down and his eyes widened for a fragment of a second before he reared up again, yelling twice as loud and with twice as much ferocity. “Shut your fucking mouth you blundering shit!”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">That’s when Magnus let go of his restraint. No more pressing against walls, Magnus stood to his full height, a full head above Taako, and stared down at him with a feral glint in his eyes. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3"><span class="s2">“You’re the most cowardly, pathetic, asshole I’ve ever met. </span> <span class="s3">Fuck you</span> <span class="s2">, Taako.” His teeth were gritted, but unlike Taako he didn’t bear them threateningly. Speaking of, Taako’s teeth lost their menacing power as his lips stretched into a grimace. </span></p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">Taako’s whole face lost it’s angered demeanour and shifted into something he’d later deny. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">Before Magnus could even react, Taako was falling to the floor, saved from a concussion at the last second by Magnus’ quick reflexes. Taako sobbed into Magnus’ arms, wailing like a child.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">Merle and Magnus stared at each other blankly, trying to understand what was happening.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">This was not normal. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">Taako does not do feelings.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2"><em>Taako</em> does not <em>cry</em>.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>hey uh, my account may not be accessible anymore since my email is going to be deleted?? I’ll be carrying this on at an account I’ll make soon, hopefully named ‘peanutbutterandjambagels’, unless anyone could help me figure out how to change the email my account is linked to?</p><p>Thank you for all the support given to this work, despite it’s many flaws. I hope to be able to finish this in good quality, though I’m having a lot of trouble writing because of my shitty mental health. Thank you for being so patient with me.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>hello :^) </p><p>I’m sorry for not updating in what, almost three months?? a lot of stuff happened!! i moved house which gives me a lot of anxiety, and also I got diagnosed with Anxiety and OCD!! it was very hard to want to write much while all that was happening, so I tried to make up for my accidental hiatus with a 7,000 word chapter!! :00 more than double the original word count of the first two chapters combined!!</p><p>This chapter deals with a little tiny bit of child abuse— in the past, don’t worry— so please be careful! I based it off of my own experiences, which is why it’s probably a it rushed and strange! I can’t tell if this is too rushed or not since I think if I read this one more time my eyes will roll out of my head lmao. Please let me know of anything is inaccurate or ill-portrayed and I’ll be sure to smooth it out.</p><p>This is gonna be a little longer than I thought because I wrote too much lmao.<br/>enjoy ;)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Magnus’ head was a blur of confusion. His arms held a distraught elf inches from the floor, saved from a concussion only moments before.</p><p>Magnus couldn’t see his face, but he reckoned that if he could, he still wouldn’t be able to tell what Taako was feeling. He gently pulled Taako up, bringing him high enough to put his feet on the ground, and put his feet on the ground he did, pushing himself away from Magnus and slamming right into the fridge.  </p><p>Taako’s face was wet and red and almost unrecognisable. Taako had never cried before. He’d barely even shown the bare minimum of emotions, yet there he was, tears streaming down his face as he stood before them.</p><p>“Are— Taako, are you okay?” Magnus asked, creeping closer to the hysterical elf. </p><p>“Fuck. Off. Magnus.” He warned, holding a hand out in front of him, fingertips sparking with the beginnings of a spell.</p><p> Magnus didn’t want to hurt Taako, but he also didn’t want to be on the receiving end of a Scorching Ray. He didn’t step forward but didn’t move back.</p><p>Taako’s mismatched eyes locked on him venomously. His taut lips trembled as he clenched his jaw and his hand shook in rage.</p><p>“Please, Taako,” Magnus started, but before he could finish Taako catapulted himself over the counter and ran out the door. Magnus went after him, a few seconds too late it seemed, when the halls surrounding their dorms went silent. </p><p>Merle put a hand on his hip. “C’mon, big guy, let him cool off.” He let Merle pull him back to the couch after one last glance at the hall. </p><p>Empty.</p><p>The door shut quietly behind him, and he was lead to the couch by Merle as he stared into the void, vision obscured by his racing thoughts. He drummed his fingers on his thigh, unable to pull a grim look from his face.</p><p>“That was... pretty weird, huh?” Magnus looked up to Merle, who was balancing a cup of steaming tea on the La-Z-boy across the coffee table. </p><p>He huffed a small laugh, though lacking in humour. “Yeah.” He said, simply.</p><p>“I think the kid’ll come to his senses soon enough,” Merle said, swirling his tea and taking a long sip of the green liquid — gross.</p><p>“Which one?” The two shared a laugh. Then silence fell over the room again.</p><p>Magnus cleared his throat. “I’ve never-“ He held his arm tight, nails leaving impermanent marks in his skin. “I’ve never seen Taako act like that before.”</p><p>“What, in the library?” Merle asked, perplexed. </p><p>Magnus shook his head. “No, like- when he was crying. I’ve never seen Taako cry before.”</p><p>Merle chuckled quietly. “I was gonna say,” He laughed into his tea.</p><p>“I wonder how the kid is doin’.” Magnus murmured, staring at his abandoned carving gloomily. “If Taako’s like, actually showing vulnerability, then the kid must be fucked.”</p><p>“That all depends on how you view vulnerability,” Merle spoke, staring into his strange, strange plant tea idly. “Because if ya think about it, running out of the room as soon as you start cryin’ is a lot less vulnerable than talkin’ about your feelings.”</p><p>Magnus rolled his eyes. “Well, duh, but for a dude who’s like an emotional statue, most things are vulnerable for him.”</p><p>Merle nodded with a quiet laugh. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.” He took another long sip of his tea.</p><p>Magnus felt his fist clench and unclench. Unease was settling in his belly like a cooling lava lamp. Something was just off about this whole dang thing.</p><p>Taako doesn’t cry. Angus doesn’t yell. What the fuck is even going on today?</p><p>Usually, his hands would worry away at his wood, either a project still unfinished or something he’d completed, with nice textures and sweet scents to keep his feelings quiet, instead of the loud loud loud that they were right now.</p><p>He would get up and pick up his knife, just start carving and wait for the storm of noise in his head to settle down, but it feels like his body was made of lead, and even if he wanted to move, he knew he wouldn’t be able to.</p><p>His chest felt heavy when he sighed, his lips weighed down into a frown.</p><p>“What’s got you crackin’ the shits?” Merle laughed from across the room. </p><p>“I feel so bad,” Magnus said, putting his face in his hands. “What did we even try to do down there? We’re such assholes.” </p><p>Merle chuckled. “Ah, who woulda thought that Magnus Burnsides would be afraid of makin’ a kid cry. I thought you were mad as a cut snake?” </p><p>Magnus rolled his eyes. “I’m not afraid of Angus- the kid’s like a twig compared to me. I just- he’s only a kid. I don’t wanna make him feel bad about being  himself or anything like that.”</p><p>“Fantasy Christ, are ya gonna shit a brick or something? The kid’s like four, he’ll forget all about it in a matter of days.” Merle waved his hand about, dismissing the idea of guilt.</p><p>“Merle, didn’t you hear what he said down there? The kid was so upset. He didn’t even do anything wrong, we’re just huge assholes!” Magnus shouted, tears collecting in the corners of his eyes.</p><p>“Of course I heard him, what, are ya a few stubbies short of a six-pack?” Merle laughed to himself. “I don’t really give a shit. Don’t like the kid much anyways. The kid knows what to expect of me.”</p><p>“That’s not a viable argument, Merle!” Magnus cried, looking up from his hands to stare at Merle. “He’s a child! He probably can’t understand social cues when you don’t fucking give them to him!”</p><p>Merle set his tea down on the arm of the chair. “Hey, look, ya fucker, I know plenty of shit about kids, and I know his opinion of me isn’t gonna change past this. This is as high as his expectations are set.”</p><p>“And what do you know about kids, Merle?” Magnus spat venomously. </p><p>Merle awkwardly avoided eye contact. “Oh, y’know, just meetin’ people. On the road.”</p><p>Magnus sighed. “And anyway, Angus isn’t like other kids. He worked as a detective for the Rockport militia, solving murders until he came to work for a secret organisation that determines the fate of the whole world.”</p><p>Merle clicked his tongue. “Can’t say any of the kids I’ve met have done that.” Magnus couldn’t help but chuckle quietly.</p><p>“I feel so bad, Merle.” He cried. “Why am I such as asshole?” He mumbled, on the brink of tears.</p><p>Merle cleared his throat again, awkward as ever. </p><p>“Well, I guess there’s a way you can sorta rectify that.” He started, brushing off his clothes instead of looking to Magnus.</p><p>“How?” Magnus asked, voice raw and quiet. </p><p>“You can go and check on him. Apologise.” Merle looked up, hitting Magnus with a state that made him feel smaller than Davenport.</p><p>He looked at Merle with wide eyes, his frown twitching up into a smile. He stood up from the filthy red couch, and with one large bound, pulled Merle from his chair and hugged him tightly. “Thank you so much, Daddy!”</p><p>Merle writhed in Magnus’ grip. “Holy shit, Magnus, put me down you’re gonna spill my tea you fucker!”</p><p>Magnus dropped Merle back in his recliner and bolted out the door with hardly a goodbye.</p><p>He ran down the hall to the elevator and, once he was in, pressed the number for the seeker floor about a dozen times. </p><p>Operation: Check On The Boy (or C.O.T.B for short) was in action.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Angus woke up to a heavy beating on the door. </p><p>He was pulled from a not-so-restful rest with a gasp and an anxious grip on his stomach. His body wanted to run and move, to climb into the vents perhaps, or to hide in the wardrobe, but the dead weight in his stomach told him to stay perfectly still, not to move an inch in the pile of pristine white hotel sheets he was currently drowning in.</p><p>The beating only grew louder at his refusal to do anything, growing faster too. </p><p>Angus could feel his mouth begin to dry up, his throat not letting him swallow past the boulder of anxious mass that cluttered his windpipe. His cheeks flushed as his blood pumped a hundred times faster and harder, synchronised with his rapidly fastening breathing.</p><p>“Yo, Ango! You good in there, buddy?” A voice spoke up between the loud knocking, momentarily heightening and then pausing the anxious storm inside his body.</p><p>Was that Magnus?</p><p>“It’s me, it’s your buddy Magnus! Care to let your pal in?”</p><p>Oh god.</p><p>Oh god.</p><p>If Magnus was here then it couldn’t be good news. Magnus has almost never come to his room before, at least not unprompted (He’d picked up Angus when they went planetside together, and occasionally dropped him off when his spectating at training sessions lasted a little too long into the night). Why on earth would he be here now?</p><p>He was probably still mad. Probably? Definitely.</p><p>How horrible was Angus? Yelling at one of the most powerful people in their institution, one of the only people able to resist the thrall of the Grand Relics, an adult, and most importantly his friend, was such a mean thing to do. Really, what right did he gave to pitch a fit like such a child? Grandpa would be so disappointed.</p><p>His journal really didn’t mean that much. It was maybe two gold pieces at any Fantasy Dollar Store (Angus is yet to find out what a dollar is). He could easily replace it, and most of the information in it was invaluable now anyway, old reclaimer missions and the works. It wasn’t worth a tantrum.</p><p>A tantrum! The thought dawned on Angus with horror. A whole tantrum. In a library, nonetheless! Angus tried his best to be a well-shaped young boy, well above his age in maturity and intelligence, yet here he was throwing tantrums like some three year old! Angus would be under exaggerating if he said he was mortified. </p><p>Magnus must have gotten the Director. I mean- one could say behaviour like what he displayed in the library was deserving of punishment, no? And who better than the Director to deserve his fate? He could live without privileges like free-range wandering, and magic lessons, but he couldn’t live without the bureau, without his new friends and their dependence on him. </p><p>If the Director was going to fire him— then what would he do? You can’t really un-inoculate someone after they’ve ingested the Voidfish’s ichor. Would they have to kill him? Would they lock him up until he died? He really didn’t want to get put in prison! How would he visit his family?</p><p>“Kiddo, nothing’s wrong! I just wanna see my boy!”</p><p>Angus’ tummy twisted as his lips contorted into an anxious mess. Magnus wasn’t one to lie. He knew that was true.</p><p>He slowly pulled his heavy limbs from the constraints of his pure white linen and shakily made his way out of his room. He hadn’t put on his glasses and really didn’t want to go back and get them and then end up changing his mind on dealing with the situation at hand. Besides, maybe it would be better if he couldn’t see Magnus’ face anyway. </p><p>His teeth started to chatter again as his body rattled with anxious energy, his hands shaking almost embarrassingly as he reached for the handle. He twisted the lock in the centre of the handle and pulled the chain out of the door, opening the door slowly and letting the harsh lights of the hallway flood his darkened room.</p><p>Before him stood the tall silhouette of Magnus Burnsides, auburn hair and tan skin backlit by the flickering lights just outside. “Hey, kiddo!” He said cheerily upon the sight of his little friend, though when the light touched Angus’ puffy red face, his demeanour instantly changed.</p><p>He knelt down on one knee, reaching out a hesitant hand to Angus’ face, and even the idea of Magnus being hesitant was so foreign to Angus that his anxiety almost doubled. Angus let Magnus take his face in a large calloused hand, gently smoothing his thumb over Angus’ tear-stained cheek.</p><p>“Hey, kiddo.” He said, much quieter now, his voice uncharacteristically gentle. “Do you mind if I come in?” He asked.</p><p>“No, sir,” Angus mumbled, letting Magnus shuffle in and close the door behind him. </p><p>Magnus looked around the room. “Dang, kid, it’s pretty dark in here.” Angus nodded, staring at the carpet, though he couldn’t make out its pattern without his glasses. “Can I turn on a light?” Magnus’ voice was soft, almost too soft, and Angus didn’t know how to feel about that.</p><p>He nodded, and let Magnus cover his eyes as he flipped on the switch. “Just so that your eyes don’t get hurt.” He said simply. Angus was rather grateful.</p><p>Magnus kept a hand over Angus’ eyes but scooped him up with the other, and brought him to sit up on Magnus’ hip. </p><p>“Is it okay if we go to your bedroom?” Angus nodded, grateful, so so grateful, for the heat that Magnus’ body provided. He let his head fall against Magnus’ chest, despite the lingering fear that Magnus wouldn’t want that.</p><p>Magnus carefully led him to his bedroom, sitting on the bed gingerly with Angus held tight in his arms. He turned the lights on as he came in, closing the door halfway behind him. He pulled his hand away from Angus’ eyes, and he sighed quietly as Angus’ face came fully into view.</p><p>“You alright?” Magnus murmured.</p><p>Angus sniffled in reply, letting his face be hidden by Magnus’ shirt.</p><p>“Where're your glasses, buddy?” Magnus asked, running his fingers through Angus’ unkempt curls. Angus shrugged.</p><p>“On the floor,” Angus mumbled, his voice raw and weak. Magnus nodded, gently pushing Angus to sit on the bed beside him and searching the surrounding carpet for Angus’ thin wire glasses. It took him a little while, but after kneeling to look under the bed, he found them hidden by the low hanging sheets. They were covered in dry tears, and Magnus had to wipe them off on his shirt to clean them.</p><p>He slipped the glasses up Angus’ nose with an almost jarring gentleness, and Angus could finally make out a small smile on the man’s face.</p><p>“Hey there, kiddo, how’s that?” </p><p>Angus nodded. </p><p>Magnus smiled. “Hell yeah.” He ruffled Angus’ curls but didn’t stand from his kneeling position on the floor.</p><p>He took both on Angus’ hands in his own, dwarfing them as he gently squeezed them. “Have you been cryin’, hon?” Magnus waited for his answer, though Angus seemed reluctant to speak. “You don’t gotta talk, kid, I understand.” Angus nodded after another few moments. </p><p>Magnus barely hid a frown when Angus gave his answer. “Do you wanna tell me why?” </p><p>Angus shook his head, staring down at his crumpled shorts.</p><p>“That’s okay, boyo, you don’t have to do anything” </p><p>Angus swallowed thickly.</p><p>Magnus hesitated before continuing to speak, trying to judge if Angus needing silent comfort or not. “Do you- Do you mind if I tell you why I came here?”</p><p>Angus risked a glance upwards, meeting Magnus’ eye for barely a millisecond.</p><p>He nodded. </p><p>“Wait shit-“ Magnus sighed, shaking his head. “Yes, it’s okay to tell to or Yes, I mind?”</p><p>Angus huffed a small involuntarily laugh, though it sounded more like a sniffle. He held up one finger.</p><p>“Alright cool.” </p><p>Magnus took a deep breath before he started to speak, and he sounded almost as nervous as Angus felt. </p><p>“I know what happened in the library was rough buddy,” Angus’ stomach flipped like a whole stack of pancakes. He felt a horrible chill run through his blood, and felt the telltale signs of being sick. “You were so upset, kiddo, and like- fair enough, that was really bad of us,” Angus’ eyes were as wide as saucers, though Magnus, who was staring at the carpet with a practised focus, couldn’t tell. His teeth resumed their chattering, though he was careful to muffle the sound with his tongue. </p><p>“I wanted to make sure you were okay, Ango. And I- wanted to apologise.” Magnus obviously wasn’t very practised at apologies, at least not this sort, and was almost embarrassingly awkward. Angus couldn’t care less about Magnus’ delivery of his apology, more focused on the rising feeling of sickness in his tummy, crawling up his throat unassumingly.</p><p>Magnus looked up to Angus, remorse clear in his eyes, but almost jumped right out of his skin when he saw Angus.</p><p>“Kid, you good?” Angus shook his head, his eyes wrenching closed against his will.</p><p>“Shit, Ango, you don’t look so good.” Angus shook his head, pulling his hands out of Magnus’ grip and running to the bathroom with surprising speed.</p><p>The bathroom was directly across the hall from his bedroom, and he made it just in time, kneeling before the toilet and retching painfully.</p><p>Magnus followed him quietly, gently pulling his glasses away and setting them on the counter to prevent them from falling in the toilet. He rubbed Angus back as he coughed and sputtered into the bowl.</p><p>It took a while, but Angus seemed to finally settle down, sitting up straight and wiping his mouth on a square of toilet paper. Magnus wiped his forehead, letting Angus brush away his own tears.</p><p>“Oh, kid.” Magnus sighed, taking Angus’ face in his hands. Angus sniffled but leaned into his touch all the same. “Feelin’ any better?”</p><p>Angus nodded, hiccuping as more tears tracked down his face. “That’s good.” Magnus murmured.</p><p>“Do you want a hug, buddy?” Angus nodded tearfully, and Magnus wrapped him up in a loose hug, warm and soft. He stood up with Angus held tightly in arms, making his way back over to the bedroom. He didn’t sit Angus on the bed but shut the door as the boy cried into his shoulder. </p><p>Angus cried for a while, hiccuping into the wet fabric on Magnus’ flannel as the fighter paced around the small room, patting Angus’ back all the while. It took Angus a while to stop crying, and once he did, he still didn’t pull his face away from the crook of Magnus’ neck.</p><p>Magnus took Angus’ hand in his own, not complaining a single bit when he squeezed as tight as possible.</p><p>After however long of almost silence, Magnus was startled by the meek voice that spoke out.</p><p>“‘M so sorry,” Angus mumbled, voice wet and raw. </p><p>“What?! Angus, no, you don’t have to be sorry at all!” Magnus was shocked, clutching the boy to his chest like he was glass. This poor kid.</p><p>Angus shook his head, pulling his head away from Magnus’ shoulder. “I’m sorry, sir! I really didn’t mean to hurt your feelings! It all just came out and I couldn’t stop it!” He wailed, tears starting anew.</p><p>Magnus patted Angus’ back as the boy became more upset. “Oh, Angus, you did nothing wrong kiddo, I’m all okay.” The boy shook his head.</p><p>“Please, sir,” he sniffled, “Just get me in trouble so it can all be over!” Without his glasses, it was easier for Angus to wipe away the tears that doused his face. </p><p>Magnus swore under his breath, prying Angus’ limbs from around his boy and sitting him on the end of his bed. He knelt down before him again, taking one of his hands. “Angus.” He said, firm and calm. “I’m not going to get you in trouble.”</p><p>“Why not?!” Angus sobbed, wailing into the open air as if he were much younger.</p><p>Magnus sighed, his heart almost breaking. “Because you didn’t do anything wrong, Bud.” Angus looked to him with large, wet, pleading eyes, silently begging Magnus to do as he asked. </p><p>“Mister Magnus, please! Make it stop! Just get mad and it’ll be over!”</p><p>“Kiddo, hold your horses, I’m not catchin’ your drift.” Magnus brought Angus’ eyes to his own with a careful hand turning his face. “What’ll be over if I get mad?” </p><p>Angus sniffled again, rubbing at his eyes fruitlessly. “I’ll stop feeling bad.” He said around hiccups.</p><p>Magnus nodded, though he was still confused. “And do you know why you feel bad?”</p><p>Angus averted has gaze, biting his lip as he thought of what to say. “Guilt.”</p><p>“You’re feeling guilty?” Angus nodded, and Magnus began to understand a little. “About what happened in the library?”</p><p>Angus nodded again, his lip quivering. </p><p>Magnus sighed. “Hon, you didn’t do anything wrong!”</p><p>“But I did! I yelled at you! And I said so many mean things!” Angus's voice broke as he sobbed, pulling his hand out of Magnus’ grasp to hide his face.</p><p>“Angus, no,” Magnus moved to sit beside him on the bed and put a heavy arm around the boy. “I did the mean thing. Me and Merle and Taako were being mean, okay? Your reaction was fair! And besides, we’ve said a lot meaner things than what you said down there.”</p><p>Angus shook his head, though Magnus was having none of it. “Ah ah ah, Angus, you’re completely innocent here, okay?” Angus stayed silent.</p><p>“I’m so sorry for what I’ve done to you, kiddo,” Magnus said, as honestly as he could. “It’s so easy to forget that you’re just a kid when you’re the guy who’s savin’ our asses.”</p><p>Angus couldn’t hold back a small smile. “I’m not that young, sir.” He mumbled.</p><p>Magnus laughed. “Ango, you’re like three times younger than me.” Angus laughed wetly, wiping his nose on his arm.</p><p>“Is there anything I can do to stop you feeling bad, Ango?”</p><p>Angus nodded. “Please, sir, if you just get me in trouble it’ll all end. You can just tell the Director, or hit me or something and then-“</p><p>“Woah, Woah Woah, Angus, hold up, what did you say?” Magnus interrupted Angus, and maybe he was a bit too loud, but how else do you react to that?</p><p>“Um, I said that, um, you could tell the Director.” Angus stammered out, swallowing nervously as Magnus’ searching gaze raked over him.</p><p>“And?”</p><p>Angus took in a deep, shaky breath. “Or you could, um, hit me, sir.”</p><p>Magnus’ eyes widened, and even without his glasses, Angus could definitely see the change. “Angus, look at me- wait fuck hold on.” Magnus leapt off the bed and ducked out of the room, hurrying back with Angus’ glasses in hand. He gave them to the boy, who slipped them on as fast as possible. “Look at me. Angus, hitting people isn’t okay.”</p><p>“Sir, you hit people all the time?” Angus quirked an eyebrow.</p><p>“Well yeah, because it’s my job, and I’m only hitting bad people.” Angus opened his mouth to reply and Magnus cut him off almost instantly. “Actual bad people, Angus. Like evil people, not little boys who lose their temper.”</p><p>“Well, how else do you punish someone?” Angus asked. </p><p>“Punish? Angus, there are literally thousands of ways to punish people without hurting them.”</p><p>Angus shook his head. “No, sir, if there were then... my grandpa-- why?” </p><p>“Ango,” Magnus frowned. “Did your grandpa hurt you?” Magnus barely contained a snarl.</p><p>“I— yes, but sir, I was being bad and he was very old and didn’t understand!” </p><p>Magnus shook his head. “No, buddy, that’s not how it works. You don’t hit people, especially not children.”</p><p>“But, sir, that makes no sense!”</p><p>Magnus nodded. “I know, kiddo, it’s confusing. But no one here will ever hurt you on purpose. We love you.”</p><p>Angus shook his head. “Grandpa loved me too.”</p><p>Magnus nodded. “I’m sure he did, bud, but that doesn’t mean he didn’t negatively affect you. Everyone here wants you to be so happy, Angus, and hurting you isn’t gonna help you be happy.”</p><p>Angus took a few deep breaths as he processed this new information. Then he looked up to Magnus and slammed into his front at the speed of light. He wrapped his arms around Magnus’ waist as far as they would go and sobbed into his stomach.</p><p>“I was so scared, sir.” He cried, muffled by Magnus’ flannel. The burly man wrapped his arms around the little boy rubbing his back as he cried. “All the time!”</p><p>“I know, kiddo, you were so brave to live with that.” He said, just managing o be heard over Angus’ sobs.</p><p>“My mama and papa never hurt me,” Angus said, pulling his wet face away from Magnus’ sopping shirt.</p><p>Magnus nodded. “Is there any reason you didn’t stay with them?” Magnus really hoped they weren’t dead.</p><p>“My family is kind of poor, but my grandpa was really rich, so I got sent to live with him and go to the Neverwinter Academy since I was ahead in all the public schools in my home.”</p><p>“Aw bud, that’s kinda rough.” Angus nodded. “Did they know?” Angus shook his head.</p><p>“I only saw them once a year, and I always caught the train to our house, and it never really came up.” Angus sighed a little. “I haven’t seen them in a while.”</p><p>Magnus nodded. “Yeah, I understand.” </p><p>“Sir,” Angus started, his fingers fiddling around anxiously. “Are you sure you can’t make it stop?”</p><p>“Well, Ango, I don't know how to make you stop feeling guilty other than to say that you’re forgiven, which you definitely are.” Angus paused for a moment, a calculated look on his face.</p><p>Then a sigh. “Nope. It didn’t work, sir.” Angus frowned, biting his lip with chattering teeth.</p><p>“Are you sure that you’re feeling guilty then? Maybe it’s something else?” Magnus supplied, trying to keep that disappointed look off of his little friend’s face.</p><p>Angus nodded his head in affirmation. “Good idea, Sir. Should I describe what I’m feeling?”</p><p>Magnus smiled. “That’s a great idea, Ango.”</p><p>Angus smiled back. “Thank you, sir! I guess I feel like... like my tummy is all twisted. Like it’s full of butterflies that aren’t very nice! It’s kind of like this weird metallic thing radiating from my tummy out in big waves, and it hurts my hands a little bit too! And sometimes it makes me sick as well!”</p><p>And suddenly everything hit Magnus like an avalanche. “Oooohhh. That makes sense.”</p><p>“What makes sense, sir?” Angus piped up, leaning back and forth to catch a better glimpse of Magnus’ face.</p><p>“Angus, do you know what anxiety is?”</p><p>Angus nods blankly, staring up at Magnus for the answer to his first question. “Of course I do, sir. Brad gave me a crash course in mental health a few weeks ago when we were researching a relic holder that potentially had OCD!”</p><p>“Angus, I think you might have a little bit of anxiety.” Magnus smiled his gap-toothed grin at him.</p><p>“What? No, sir, I don’t have anxiety! I don’t— how?” Angus stared up at him, disbelieving as ever.</p><p>Magnus laughed. “Kid, even if you don’t have anxiety, you’re probably just really anxious. And that seems like it would be pretty normal, considering the treatment you used to get when you reacted like that at your grandpa’s house.”</p><p>“I guess that’s plausible,” Angus mumbled, picking at the cracked skin of his lips.</p><p>“Angus,” Magnus said, reaching out to take Angus’ hand. “I think that you’ve punished yourself enough to not need a reprimanding, even if you did deserve one. I know how horrible anxiety is, buddy, and I know how scared you must be feeling.”</p><p>“That kind of makes sense, sir.” Angus murmured, squeezing Magnus’ hand tightly in his own tiny one.</p><p>“So, are you feeling any better?” </p><p>“A bit, sir,” Angus said a small smile on his face. “Thank you, sir.”</p><p>“No problem, kiddo. You’re my boy! It’s what I’m here for!” Magnus winked at Angus with a click of his tongue and two finger guns to match and left Angus in a fit of giggles.</p><p>“What do we do now, Mister Magnus?” Angus asked after his giggles had died down.</p><p>Magnus yapped his chin in thought. “Well, I don’t know. You look pretty tired, maybe you should have a little sleep?” </p><p>Angus frowned. “I’m not a little kid, sir. I don’t need to take a nap.” </p><p>Magnus held his palms up defensively. “Hey, hey, I know, I’m just saying, it’s getting late and you just had a big cry and a very big talk about a lot of hard things. If I were you I’d wanna sleep for the rest of the week.”</p><p>Angus laughed to himself. “I’m sure you would, sir.”</p><p>“Hey!” Angus burst into another fit of giggles as Magnus attempted to pull him into a headlock. “You little shit, you’re too smart for your own good!”</p><p>“I know, sir!” </p><p>The two shared a small laugh.</p><p>“Well, yeah, do you wanna have a nap? You don’t have to sleep if you don’t want to, you could just read a book or just have a shower or something.” Magnus suggested.</p><p>Angus hummed. “I had a little sleep just before you came in, so I might do that again.”</p><p>Magnus barked out a laugh, and Angus looked to him, perplexed. “So you had a nap, and then put on your fancy boy clothes again to answer the door? You’re funny, Angus.</p><p>Angus blushed. “No, Sir, that’s not what happened.” He said defensively. “I don’t put on clothes I’ve already worn without washing them.”</p><p>“Wait, so you went to sleep in your fancy boy clothes?!” Magnus laughed heartily, taking great pleasure in the blush that spread across Angus’ cheeks. </p><p>“I was tired!” Angus tried to defend himself, but couldn’t hold back a laugh.</p><p>“That’s so unlike you Angus.” Magnus chuckled. “I woulda thought you had little button up pyjamas for every night of the week.”</p><p>He looked to Angus and watched as the boy stared up at him, unmoving. “Holy shit you do!”</p><p>“Sir! Stop laughing it’s not weird!” Angus squealed, trying to cover Magnus’ mouth with his hands as they both giggled.</p><p>“I bet you have special ones for holidays too.” Magnus laughed, almost crying when Angus gave him the same red-faced stare as before. </p><p>“I like to be organised!” Angus stuck his tongue out at Magnus, who returned the action almost instantly. </p><p>“You’re such a Goofus, Ango.” Magnus smiled, ruffling Angus’ curls. “Anyway, you’re gonna have a sleep, right?” Angus nodded. “Okay, do you need anything then?”</p><p>Angus furrowed his eyebrows in thought again. “Uhm, please, sir, can you maybe not go? I don’t wanna be alone. What if I get worried again?” He whispered the last sentence as if it were some curse that the world was not to know of.</p><p>Magnus took one of his hands, holding it tight, and responded. “You’re not gonna have an anxiety attack again, Ango, I’ll make sure of it. And even if you do, I’ll be right here to help you cal, down again, okay buddy?” Angus nodded looking into Magnus’ eyes like he trusted the man more than himself.</p><p>“Hey, wait, Ango, how about instead of me stayin’ here with you, you come up to the suite and sleep there? It’s bigger, we have softer blankets, and we have nice snacks too?” </p><p>Angus whined quietly in the back of his throat, just barely loud enough for Magnus to catch it. “You don’t have to, buddy, I’ll stay here as long as you want if that’s what you fancy.”</p><p>Angus shook his head. “Won’t Merle and Taako be mad at me? They won’t want me there.” Magnus could see the anxiety pumping back into Angus’ system, his lips trembling and his eyes flickering around the room for comfort.</p><p>“Hey, no, don’t think like that, kiddo, be positive! Merle already just doesn’t care, Ango, and Taako fucked off somewhere. You’re totes allowed to chill in the suite, anytime you want, kiddo. Pop on up any day of the week and if one of us is there we’ll make you a snack or something, yeah?”</p><p>Angus nodded, hesitantly focusing his gaze on Magnus.</p><p>“So, do you wanna come to my room?” </p><p>Angus fidgeted with the hem of his shirt. “Do you have nice blankets?” He asked meekly. </p><p>Magnus grinned. “More than I can count, Ango.” </p><p>Angus took one last deep breath and nodded. “Yeah, okay, sir, I’ll come up with you if that’s alright.”</p><p>“It’s perfectly fine, kiddo,” Magnus said, patting Angus’ shoulder. “Is there anything you wanna take with you? I’m not sure how much child-friendly entertainment we have up there.” He rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly.</p><p>“I think I might change into my pyjamas,” Angus suggested, looking to Magnus for approval. </p><p>Magnus cracked a grin. “Have you got special sleepover pyjamas?” He giggled.</p><p>Angus shoved his shoulder. “Shut up, sir!” He laughed. Angus hopped down off of his bed and walked over to his wardrobe, opening a single draw and removing a neatly folded stack of purple cloth and a pair of yellow socks.</p><p>“I’m going to get changed in the bathroom, sir.” Angus stopped in the doorway, turning back to address Magnus. </p><p>“Oh, I can stand outside if you want and you can just get changed in here?” Magnus stood up, preparing to leave, but Angus shut him down quickly.</p><p>“No! No, sir, it’s fine. I prefer to get changed in the bathroom anyway.” He waved before turning and scurrying across the hall, barely giving Magnus time to wave back. </p><p>Magnus waited patiently while the boy detective got changed, looking around his room. Magnus had only ever been in here when it was too dark to see anything, tucking Angus into bed after he fell asleep at sparring practice, so it was nice to be finally able to see how he’d decorated the place.</p><p>There were a few posters (undeniably Caleb Cleveland posters), a pinboard overflowing with old letters and postcards and photos of a lot of people who looked a lot like Angus, and a lot of glossy and colourful stickers that almost completely covered his desk. He has little knick-knacks strewn over his desk and shelves, old Fantasy Happy Meal toys, charms and jewellery, framed photos and small statues of animals and people that decorated the many shelves across his room. Maybe he should start sneaking in some of his own creations for Angus to enjoy?</p><p>Angus came back in a few moments later, looking absolutely adorable as he rubbed at his eyes behind his glasses. “Hello, sir.” He mumbled, smiling tiredly. </p><p>“Hey, Ango, lookin’ comfy. You feelin’ any better?” Angus nodded, shuffling in past the doorway. “That’s good.”</p><p>“Anything else you wanna take?” Magnus asked, standing up again and brushing off his pants.</p><p>Angus eyed up a particularly soft-looking fox toy on his shelf, but shook his head. “Ya sure, buddy? If you wanna bring a toy then that’s totally fine!” Angus watched Magnus carefully, taking note of his smile before he shuffled over to the bookshelf and pulled down the soft pink fox. “I sleep with, like, ten stuffed animals every night. No need to be ashamed.”</p><p>“Really?” Angus looked up to him, astonished. “Doesn’t Taako make fun of you?”</p><p>“Oh yeah, he thinks it’s really funny and always hides them and teases me ‘n shit.” Magnus laughed. “But I know where he hides his stuffed giraffe, so if he starts any shit, just let me know and I’ll give you it’s location.” He winked, relieved when Angus cracked a small smile.</p><p>“I think that’s all, Sir,” Angus said, clutching the fox to his chest protectively.</p><p>“How about we take your journal too, Ango? Did ya keep the pieces?”</p><p>Angus nodded, though his face was twisted into something melancholy. He pointed to paper bin next to his desk. “It doesn’t matter, Sir, it was cheap anyway. I’ll get a new one and start again.”</p><p>Magnus shrugged. “Okay, kiddo, that’s fine, but how about I take it with me in case you change your mind?” </p><p>“Please, sir, it’s fine. I don’t want anyone to see it and get mad or anything.” </p><p>“Don’t worry, Kiddo,” Magnus winked at Angus. “Merle is an apathetic asshole who is incapable of expressing emotion, and Taako most likely won’t notice, and won’t say anything. You shouldn’t feel scared around us.”</p><p>Angus cringed, holding the fox tighter. “I’m sorry, sir, I’m trying not to be.”</p><p>Magnus sighed, cursing his stupid mouth. “Nah, Ango, it’s not your fault. We’re not the nicest guys around, but we wanna be, okay? We’re people you can trust, and if you couldn’t before, well then you can now.” Angus nodded, but still seemed a little apprehensive.</p><p>“You can bring it,” Angus said, wringing his hands around his fox. “Please.”</p><p>Magnus smiled. “Anything for the boy.”</p><p>He grabbed the two halves from the paper bin, along with the large number of pages that had fallen out of the broken binding. Angus let Magnus scoop him up in one arm, sat on his hip, while he carried the journal pieces in his other hand. </p><p>“Have you ever thought about going to visit your family ?” Magnus asked as they headed out the door.</p><p>Angus shrugged, nestling his head into the crook of Magnus’ neck. “I really want to, I miss them so much, but I don’t know what to tell them when they ask what I’ve been doing!”</p><p>“You could just say detective work?” Magnus suggested.</p><p>Angus shook his head. “No, if I said that then my brothers would probably beat me up!”</p><p>“Couldn’t you take them on? I thought you were learning combat?”</p><p>Angus laughed. “Maybe I could if there was only one, but seven might be a little too many!”</p><p>“Wait- holy shit, you have seven brothers?” Magnus asked, utterly bewildered.</p><p>Angus nodded. “Yes, sir. And five sisters!”</p><p>Magnus swore under his breath. “Dang, dude, that’s a lot.”</p><p>Angus giggled. “I guess, sir.”</p><p>“Don’t tell me you’re the youngest, Ango.”</p><p>Angus stayed silent.</p><p>“Oh my god- Angus!”</p><p>Magnus lead them out of Angus’ room, not bothering to turn off the lights as he went. Angus deduced that he must be afraid of the dark. Magnus sighed when he reached the doorway. “Dang, a lot of paper fell out.” Most of the pieces on the floor seemed blank, but he grabbed the two with ink on them after gently lowering himself and Angus to the floor, and then stepped out of his quarters.</p><p>The hallways were chilly, not closed off from the quad, as well as the multiple rusted windows that wouldn’t shut. Angus stiffened against him, burying his face into Magnus’ neck as he shivered. Magnus bounced him as he hurried to the elevator, not minding one bit that Angus was mooching off of his body heat. “I know, buddy, it’s cold. Let’s get to the elevator quickly, huh?”</p><p>Angus nodded against his shoulder, though he seemed too tired to comprehend what he was saying. The elevator opened a few seconds after he had pressed the button, and Magnus had almost never been more grateful for the heating system in the elevators. Damn your genius, Lucas.</p><p>Magnus had to press the button for the Reclaimer’s floor with the tip of his boot, but Angus stayed mostly unbothered, so that was good enough.</p><p>The hallway was less cold than Angus’, but it wasn’t exactly a sauna or anything, so Magnus hurried to get into the suite and out of the cold before Angus was roused by the cool air. He had to bend down a fair bit so that he could scan his bracer unlock the door since Angus was half asleep on that arm, but once the warm air hit him, he didn’t mind so much.</p><p>He set the pieces of the torn journal on the table that sat beside the door (it was meant to hold keys and the like, but they couldn’t really take off their bracers, so it served little point) and heard the two metal halves slide back into each other, forming the B.o.B symbol as they did so.</p><p>Merle looked up from his— holy shit is that fucking sudoku — magazine and his eyes instantly widened. “He asleep?” He asked gruffly, pointing to the purple pyjama-clad little boy.</p><p>Magnus shrugged. “Mostly.” He said, careful not to disturb Angus.</p><p>“How’d the apologising go? You feelin’ better?”</p><p>Magnus nodded. “Yeah, it went well. I think it helped him a lot too.”</p><p>“That’s nice,” Merle grumbled. “Go put him somewhere before he wakes up and starts spewing his ‘Sir! Sir!” bullshit.” He waved a hand, ushering Magnus down to the cluster of bedrooms.</p><p>Magnus rolled his eyes, though he knew Merle meant no harm. </p><p>His bedroom was actually quite messy, the floor almost invisible beneath a thick layer of junk, but the bed was clear and clean. He laid Angus down gently on the left side of the bed, securing the ratty pink fox in his hold. The boy roused slightly at the movement but quietened down when Magnus pulled a soft purple quilt over him.</p><p>“Night, buddy.” He whispered, taking Angus’ glasses and pushing back his lovely, messy curls. </p><p>“Night, Maggie,” Angus murmured, letting his eyes slip shut what would hopefully be the final time that night.</p><p>Magnus folded just glasses gently, setting them on the table beside the bed where Angus could find them easily. Magnus went around to the other side of his bed, not bothering to change out of his day clothes, which were frankly disgusting, covered in snot and tears and probably a bit of spit. He slipped in next to Angus, grateful that his bed was just big enough for the two of them. </p><p>Angus fit perfectly under the quilt, so Magnus pulled him closer and made sure he was bundled tightly in the warm fabric before pulling up the doona over the two of them. Angus snuggled into his chest, and Magnus was so at peace that he almost fell asleep.</p><p>He would have if it hadn’t been for the suite door opening with a loud metal shriek and the loud shout that paired with it. </p><p>“Guys!”</p>
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